Wednesday, October 5, 2011

your lack of generalization makes me want to rollerskate

Figure 1 (submitted for your approval)

While teaching my daughter the art of coasting on a pedal-less bike, I noticed the following sign screwed onto multiple locations around the tennis courts
(figure 1).

The first couple thoughts I had:
  • Well, heck! It doesn't say anything about rollerskating, so I should be fine to bust-a-move on these fine courts with rollerskates.
  • Hmm...It doesn't mention unicycles. Too bad I don't own a unicycle. Oh wow! We do have a couple tricycles around, and it fails to explicitly exclude those, as well. Just not allowed to ride something with 2 wheels...but WAIT that's not entirely correct.
I continued helping my daughter -- more through encouragement since she was picking up the coasting so darn well -- and after awhile I had formed a list of things you weren't explicitly disallowed to do on these tennis courts.
  • Scooting on scooters
  • Ripping on RipStiks (questionable)
  • Motorcycling
  • Roller-sneakering
  • Pogo-jumping
  • Go-carting
  • Bumping bumper-cars
  • Horseback riding
  • Dog sledding
  • Cross-country skiing
  • Pogo-jumping
  • Oh, have I mentioned Pogo-jumping yet? No? Pogo-jumping. A massive city-wide pogo-jumping contest....not explicitly excluded, is it?
  • (verb)-ing (mad lib style)

So, in response to your sign of finite splendor, I declare your lack of generalization makes me want to ________________ (verb)

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